Choices to make

On the one hand, I’m not applying for a BA so I don’t need to get any UCAS in order and I don’t have a strict time deadline on getting my portfolio sorted.

On the other, I need to make decisions about what I’m doing and what direction I’m aiming for because I need to know what opportunities to be taking.

Every idea I follow through leads to at least 5 more that all stand to be developed. I can’t decide to go all the way down one avenue before I pursue another, because it never ends; instead, I have to be able to decide when it’s time to put it to bed or let it go, and prioritise another idea.

Do I want to make art my living? It’s hard to make decent money, espec at first, and realistically I need money to transition. It’s also hard to handle a work/life balance, and there’s the issue of there always being so much more that could be and others to compare yourself to, and that really drags on my complex of not being good enough.

Maybe I just want to keep art in my life, and find another way to make a living. I could get an office job and make art in the evenings, maybe go to drawing groups to have art friends, maybe open a big cartel shop. If I tried to pursue art as a hobby alongside a 9-5, would it upset me that I never have enough time? That already upsets me even when art is my daily 9-5. Would I get bored at the 9-5?

Maybe I should try to get an art-adjacent job, like technician or museum or gallery outreach.

Tattoo artist?

‘illustrator and surface designer’

Have to balance money with contribution to society with own mental state (incl both transition and work/life balance).


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